An Ode To.............

[Annie]

Choppy is so good at creating Odes I thought we could have a fun thread just for his work.

I'm prepared to be your next victim Choppy if you can't think of anyone else but please be nice!

Annie :charlston:

[Spongebob!]

Choppy is so good at creating Odes I thought we could have a fun thread just for his work.

I'm prepared to be your next victim Choppy if you can't think of anyone else but please be nice!

Annie :charlston:

There was a young lady called Annie,
Who we all thought was really dead 'canny'...!

Wise words Sponge! :happy:

[Annie]

There was a young man called Spongebob
He loved jacket potatoes with a butter knob
Although he was a sweetie
One day he got cheeky
So Annie turned his bat into a keyfob!

Bring it on! :pingbat:

[Chopfloat]

Choppy is so good at creating Odes I thought we could have a fun thread just for his work.

I'm prepared to be your next victim Choppy if you can't think of anyone else but please be nice!

Annie :charlston:
Actually Annie I think this is a good idea-for others to put ditties and such like on this thread.

I'm not very regimental in my approach to verse;it's just sometimes I get a thought and go with it.Can't really do it to order;but as I said I think could be a great concept.
:rocker::rocker:

[Annie]

Well let's all Ode as we feel!

[Annie]

There was this bloke called Chopfloat
He really knew how to emote
He wrote a good tale
So we bought him some ale
We knew how to float his boat!

[Trottski]

There was an old chopper from Gateheadwho got quite upset when his mate saidYour game is quite poor I'm afraid you must scorewhilst I have a knock here with di??head!

[Annie]

There was a player called DaveR
He often played both near and faR
He gave students lessons
Hoped they gained the essence
And spent most of the day in his caR

:Drive:

[Chopfloat]

A WELCOME TO THE FORUM.

A welcome to the forum,a welcome from us all
This is the place for the bat and the ball
You can have ten of the best,and ten of the worst
We will consider them all,chapter and verse

A welcome to the forum,from wherever you hail
Tell us your stories,tell us your tale
We are hear to help you,and help you we will
Questions we answer,that is our skill

A welcome to the forum,please chit and please chat
Just follow the threads,for this and for that
Yes,we're happy to help,and to help you be happy
So come on my friend be quick and get yappy

WELCOME

:laola:

[Annie]

A WELCOME TO THE FORUM.

A welcome to the forum,a welcome from us all
This is the place for the bat and the ball
You can have ten of the best,and ten of the worst
We will consider them all,chapter and verse

A welcome to the forum,from wherever you hail
Tell us your stories,tell us your tale
We are hear to help you,and help you we will
Questions we answer,that is our skill

A welcome to the forum,please chit and please chat
Just follow the threads,for this and for that
Yes,we're happy to help,and to help you be happy
So come on my friend be quick and get yappy

WELCOME

:laola:

Just brilliant! http://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/clap.gifhttp://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/clap.gifhttp://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/clap.gif

[Medicine Man]

The boy stood on the burning deck, when all but he had fled,
....... Twit.

[Spongebob!]

A WELCOME TO THE FORUM.

A welcome to the forum,a welcome from us all
This is the place for the bat and the ball
You can have ten of the best,and ten of the worst
We will consider them all,chapter and verse

A welcome to the forum,from wherever you hail
Tell us your stories,tell us your tale
We are hear to help you,and help you we will
Questions we answer,that is our skill

A welcome to the forum,please chit and please chat
Just follow the threads,for this and for that
Yes,we're happy to help,and to help you be happy
So come on my friend be quick and get yappy

WELCOME

:laola:

Nectar Chopster!!! :rocker:

[Chopfloat]

COME BACK OF VIKTOR

We open the pages of their glossy brochure
And gaze at the pictures that cast out their lure

From so much produce how can we choose
There are so many objects for us to peruse

Rubbers so fast they're called supersonic
Fom Stiga and Juic and friendly old Donic

Blades of wood with many a ply
From Stiga and Juic and old Butterfly

For many a year I've strove for success
Mixing and matching while under duress

There's bats a plenty in my pedal bin
I've tried them all and still I can't win

The money I've spent on their special offers
Has done nothing for me just filled up their coffers

So let's have a bat that won't cost a packet
Yes let's just go back to the old Barna racket.

Before sponge and long pimple;life was oh so simple

[Dave Robson]

great ode and i will add an ode section to the next magazine. So get posting your efforts ! Especially you lot down south

[Annie]

Especially you lot down south

:bag:

[Chopfloat]

Trottski's Pen

There's a man that I know who comes from the Shires
Who writes so well of our hopes and desires

He tells us all of the latest new story
He tells us all of those seeking glory

Yes he speaks of the losses and also the wins
Of our virtuous assets and our multiple sins

He can pass out a laurel with a laugh and a joke
Then cut you down with a Milburn-like stroke

He gives us all a reflective nickname
Then tells of the deeds that put us to shame

They say that he plays as well as he writes
But I don't know how after all those late nights

Yes he scribes a yarn purely for fun
He's one of a kind and kind of a one

His elegant style is there for all to admire
The fan base has grown for that man from the Shire

So keep telling your tales my true sporting friend
And let the words flow from the great Trottski Pen

[Nick]

Trottski's Pen

There's a man that I know who comes from the Shires
Who writes so well of our hopes and desires

He tells us all of the latest new story
He tells us all of those seeking glory

Yes he speaks of the losses and also the wins
Of our virtuous assets and our multiple sins

He can pass out a laurel with a laugh and a joke
Then cut you down with a Milburn-like stroke

He gives us all a reflective nickname
Then tells of the deeds that put us to shame

They say that he plays as well as he writes
But I don't know how after all those late nights

Yes he scribes a yarn purely for fun
He's one of a kind and kind of a one

His elegant style is there for all to admire
The fan base has grown for that man from the Shire

So keep telling your tales my true sporting friend
And let the words flow from the great Trottski Pen


Jimmy,

That really is very good. Very good

[Jose]

I posted the following on the Northumberland Premier Division thread, and it is even more relevant here.



I'm amazed at all these poems and rhymes on this site involving various threads and suggest that they be compiled ready for publication before they get lost. Can you imagine it, the first ever book of table tennis poems from Table Tennis Talk, ! The book will need some funny illustrations, so get your pens out artists. Congratulations to all the authors and to the winners of the Northumberland Premier Division. :static:

[NativeNewYorker]

Im sure Dave is adding this to the next Table Tennis Talk magazine if im not wrong. There's quite a few and a section on its own i think would be apt by now. Chopfloat seems to be the master poet on the site.

[Dave Robson]

I posted the following on the Northumberland Premier Division thread, and it is even more relevant here.



I'm amazed at all these poems and rhymes on this site involving various threads and suggest that they be compiled ready for publication before they get lost. Can you imagine it, the first ever book of table tennis poems from Table Tennis Talk, ! The book will need some funny illustrations, so get your pens out artists. Congratulations to all the authors and to the winners of the Northumberland Premier Division. :static:

I am compiling the odes and other ryhmes for the new magazine this coming month and it will have a section of it's very own.

the current virtual magazine is ......HERE (http://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/tttmag/index.html)

[Belisar]

Now you have registered the .com domain name you made my final verse a bit easier to work out.

It’s music to my ears, the sound of bat on ball
It seems somehow more alluring than any siren’s call.
There’s speed, there’s tension, there’s tactics the sport has got it all
And it’s funny how everyone seems to say “table tennis.. I played that when at school”.

The pace it is exciting, the ball’s gone in a flash
Oh how we have to smile when we hit the winning smash
Topspin, backspin, sidespin, float, it really makes you think
And yet the ball can move so fast it gone before you blink.

A sport that spans the ages, it is a sport for all
It’s global popularity is not far off football.
But here the sport is fading, its best days have we seen ?
No sponsorship, no support, without the TV screen.

No places to play, no clubs, no youngsters coming through
Are our memories of yesterday all we have to look forward to.
We need to find a way, to give the game a shove
We cannot accept the decline of the sport we all so love

So what is our solution, before the sport is dead
Is Paul Drinkhall our salvation with our hopes placed on his head
If you have the answer, wherever you are from
Please pop on here and tell us… tabletennistalk.com

[HarryBelafonte]

:trumpet:Excellent....

[Dave Robson]

Belisar ......... top ode

i have added to my list for the magazine

ps Goddy i cant find the crack of the bat one ......... still lookin it must be here !

[Jose]

Fantastic!

[Belisar]

And now for something completely different...


By gum its cold outside, and now its started to drizzle
I may be here inside this hall but I think I’ve got a snivel

By gum its cold outside, it really is a menace
To have a runny nose and be playing table tennis

By gum its cold outside, and now I’m feeling cranky
I really need to wipe my nose but I haven’t got a hanky

By gum its cold outside and I’m starting to believe
The opponents have just seen me wipe my nose upon my sleeve

By gum its cold outside and I’m feeling such a fool
I wiped a bogey from my nose and it got stuck onto the ball

By gum its cold outside, the opponents getting shirty,
The bogey’s got stuck onto his hand and he’s telling me it’s dirty

By gum its cold outside and now its really kicked off
I could not help but as he served I had to give a cough

By gum its cold outside and the opponents in a strop
He is refusing to play me while my nose has a dew drop

By gum its cold outside and my nose is turning blue
I think I may be dying; I must have caught man flu

And now the evenings over and I really could have cried,
The team, we lost our matches and by gum its cold outside.

[Dave Robson]

Oh i found Harry's !!!!!!!!!!

he wrote this on one of his bender nights !

I think it is a sport for life. On few different levels:

The camaraderie,the crack,

The competition, both single and team.
The beating the best players ,the end of a dream.
The young pretenders, the super vets,
The edges the nets the stupid bloody lets.

The nice hotels and the late night benders
The stress and the strain of the close five enders

The glue in the room ,the crack of the bat,
over 40s now and getting fat.

you can do it you can ,win for the team,
no you lost you tit,it was only a dream
Hurra...

Harry this is pretty damn good!

[Trottski]

Trottski's Pen

There's a man that I know who comes from the Shires
Who writes so well of our hopes and desires

He tells us all of the latest new story
He tells us all of those seeking glory

Yes he speaks of the losses and also the wins
Of our virtuous assets and our multiple sins

He can pass out a laurel with a laugh and a joke
Then cut you down with a Milburn-like stroke

He gives us all a reflective nickname
Then tells of the deeds that put us to shame

They say that he plays as well as he writes
But I don't know how after all those late nights

Yes he scribes a yarn purely for fun
He's one of a kind and kind of a one

His elegant style is there for all to admire
The fan base has grown for that man from the Shire

So keep telling your tales my true sporting friend
And let the words flow from the great Trottski Pen


I wandered lonely as a cloud Until I met the Blackpool crowdThere’s Jim the Greek so polite and game,No-ones quite sure from whence he came The Windmill travelled avec his Wife The cause perhaps of this first round strife The Surfer was intent on ranking points to plunderAlas my friend it’s best you slumber Enigmatic Eddie too was thereIntent of course on a free pint to share Choppy flitted to and fro A smile, a crack and a story to goHe got drawn in a very tough groupThe Surfer won it and was **** a hoopSo whats the point of this little dittyWell we all lost and more’s the pity

[Jose]

I would like to suggest that all you poets think about copyrighting your work! Seriously, this is the correct thing to do. Otherwise I believe it goes into the public domain and anyone can use it. Personally I feel all these poems/odes are very valuable as your property - I can see huge potential for a book.

[Dave Robson]

I am copyrighting by site definition and therefore cannot be reproduced without consent from the owner...............


Duplication of any of this website's content is forbidden without prior written consent

[Chopfloat]

I am copyrighting by site definition and therefore cannot be reproduced without consent from the owner...............
So who has the copyright Dave,the writer of the poem/ode or the owner of the site?

[Dave Robson]

Technically the writer or both !

I will find out but hey i cant take praise for work thats not mine ....... you guys are way ahead of my slow brain ......:tomato:

[Chopfloat]

MODESTY ABOUNDER

There is a man that we all know
Who has a trumpet that he loves to blow
He's travelled the Globe and triumphed them all
He says he's the business with the bat and the ball

He loves to regale us with his wondrous glories
As he bedecks the truth in all of his stories
And he tells us all that its just tongue-in-cheek
But the spiels the same week after week

So raise up your glasses as I ask for a toast
And have you applaud this Prince of the Boast
But deep in our hearts he's a friend not a foe
Yes we really do love you Mr.Wilko

Yes modesty really becomes you Andy!!!!!!!

:star::star::star::star::star:

[Belisar]

Was listening to a song by the Plain White T's and have ended up with a tune and rythmn in my head. Anyway I tried to use it to come up with something different.

I know I’m only seven and have been running round all day,
But there is still a game I want to play.

The table tennis table has been busy but now it’s free,
I just need someone to play with me.

Please don’t take me away, I want to play somebody
Please don’t take me away right now
How can you say, mummy’s got the dinner ready
Please don’t take me away right now.

Someone left some bats out and I’ve even found a ball,
Someone left them out here in the hall.

We could get a game in of that there is no doubt,
And if we’re quick then mummy won’t find out.

Please don’t take me away, I want to play somebody
Please don’t take me away right now
How can you say, mummy’s got the dinner ready
Please don’t take me away right now.

That boy there said he’d play me and he said he’s play you to,
But it looks like he is playing something new.

So we should have some fun here grab the bat, come on let’s try,
If we don’t I think I’m going to cry.

Please don’t take me away, I want to play somebody
Please don’t take me away right now
How can you say, mummy’s got the dinner ready
Please don’t take me away right now.

I don’t care what you tell me you cannot drag me away,
I’ll leave here only once I get to play.

Ok I’ll leave quietly I promise I won’t whine,
But only if we play some other time.

Please don’t take me away, I want to play somebody
Please don’t take me away right now
How can you say, mummy’s got the dinner ready
Please don’t take me away right now.

[Chopfloat]

When we are young our pride is so tall,
then as we age it becomes humble and small.
The vanity we have is just the vapours of youth,
dispatched like the wind as we discover the truth.

As age overcomes us,we can reflect with a smile,
that the things that we needed were there all the while.
So remember this well as you aim for your glory,
if you're true to yourself,life will tell its own story.


This is just a quick draft of something I'm trying to write.Would appreciate any criticism,as I'm not sure if it needs another verse or two,or if it stands okay as it is.

Thanks.

[Annie]

When we are young our pride is so tall,
then as we age it becomes humble and small.
The vanity we have is just the vapours of youth,
dispatched like the wind as we discover the truth.

As age overcomes us,we can reflect with a smile,
that the things that we needed were there all the while.
So remember this well as you aim for your glory,
if you're true to yourself,life will tell its own story.


This is just a quick draft of something I'm trying to write.Would appreciate any criticism,as I'm not sure if it needs another verse or two,or if it stands okay as it is.

Thanks.

I have just read out your Ode to my colleagues at work and they, along with myself, all thinks it's great just the way it is.

We really are privileged to have someone of your talent sharing your wonderful odes with us.

Cheers Choppy :happy:

[Chopfloat]

SECOND DRAFT.

When we were young our pride was so tall,
then as we aged it became humble and small.
The vanity we had was just the vapour of youth,
dispatched by the wind as we discovered the truth.

As age overcomes us,we reflect with a smile,
that all we had needed was there all the time.
And the candour we knew never could save,
the fact that time was all that we gave.

So remember this well as we shoot for the glory,
the facts of our lives will tell their own story:
and the span of our being is all we possess
when we have to show our measure of success.



I think that runs slightly better, so will leave it at that.:happy::happy:

[Dave Robson]

Choppy your drafts are better than anything ive ever written so dont knock them.

I may just write one myself next week - im having a week lazing on holiday so ill work on it :happy:

[Chopfloat]

THE TRIAL OF SENESCENCE.(Growing old)

My mind it feels strong,but my teeth they are few,
And I'm learning things now that my granny once knew.

The sounds that I hear seem so far in the distance,
To pick out the words I now need some assistance.

My bones and my joints,they creak and they moan,
And my looks and my hair with time they have flown.

The good years have gone,I knew they never would last,
They are buried like treasure on the islands of the past.

The memories I have feel like fine grains of sand,
And I can recall each one as they spill from my hand.

There is more life behind me as I peer on ahead,
And I now recall the words that my father once said.

'These thoughts may sound bitter as they roll off my tongue,
But truly,most truly, youth is just wasted on the young!'

[Crispione]

THE TRIAL OF SENESCENCE.(Growing old)

My mind it feels strong,but my teeth they are few,
And I'm learning things now that my granny once knew.

The sounds that I hear seem so far in the distance,
To pick out the words I now need some assistance.

My bones and my joints,they creak and they moan,
And my looks and my hair with time they have flown.

The good years have gone,I knew they never would last,
They are buried like treasure on the islands of the past.

The memories I have feel like fine grains of sand,
And I can recall each one as they spill from my hand.

There is more life behind me as I peer on ahead,
And I now recall the words that my father once said.

'These thoughts may sound bitter as they roll off my tongue,
But truly,most truly, youth is just wasted on the young!'

All hail The Master!:clap2:

Jim, you might not be #1 on the table, but you are way out in front when it comes to wordsmanship. I am very jealous!

You should consider getting a literary agent - you are good enough, you know!!

[Annie]

All hail The Master!:clap2:

Jim, you might not be #1 on the table, but you are way out in front when it comes to wordsmanship. I am very jealous!

You should consider getting a literary agent - you are good enough, you know!!

I concur! :happy:

[Hair Bear Bunch]

Ode to tt
A warm welcome to the vetTs celebration
It’s been 25 years since its creation
A chance to share a gossip and chat
About all we get up to with a ping pong bat

No other sport has got the attraction
Of larger balls and some rubber action!
Of course your pimples could be long or short
It’s all totally innocent we retort!

What kind of rubber, what kind of blade
Oh to put the top guys in the shade
Are you a chopper or on the attack
You’ll win the game if you’ve got the knack

Improve your rating and your ranking
Winning games is what you’re banking
But if you fail don’t you lose heart
It’s not the winning but the taking part.


Shirts from stiga and butterfly
Come try a skort don’t be shy!
Just buy what you fancy from the stand
Go get me a mirror, you look grand!

It’s the umpire’s decision to call a let
When it’s your best serve you can bet
But their word you can’t be shirking
Cos abdul’s camera maybe lurking!

So hurry up and move your feet
To the tournaments where you compete
It’s the friendliest sport you can choose
No matter if you win or loose

This ditty is ending so that’s your lot
I’ll never have the wit of mr trot!
So come on friends let’s have a toast
To the game that we love the most!



V.E.T.T.S.




Poem to celebrate 25 years of the vetts
:charlston:Hair Bear Bunch

[Chopfloat]

Ah Lynn at last.Very good,looks like I may have to improve my prose!
If I wish to stay ahead of this Yorkshire rose!
:star::star::star:Lady.

[Chopfloat]

ORDINARY PEOPLE.

They are just ordinary people,the salt of this very Earth,
They give their all every week,just trying to prove their worth.

Some say that their talent it is so meagre and that it is so slight,
That their place is in the background,as they don't give out no light .

They are just ordinary people, the infantry of sport,
A nameless sea of citizenry,just pillars of support.

A countless mass of faces,who are just playing for recreation,
They have no silverware on their mantles,no sense of expectations.

They are just ordinary people,who have no claims to fame,
No-ones knows their faces,no-ones knows their names.

They form the backdrop to the 'stars',the lights upon our skyline,
Without these folks the great and good would never read a headline.

They are just ordinary people,who show no self-esteem,
They live their lives so simply,they have no need to dream.

But these ordinary people are the ones who are the wise,
They live with unblemished faith and then finally claim their prize.

They are just ordinary people, just like you and I.

[Spongebob!]

...there was a young (-ish) man called spongey...!!!

Sponge :happy:

[Annie]

I don't know where you get your inspiration from Choppey! O ye I do, Ordinary People!


:tomato:

[Annie]

Brilliant as always mind :happy:

[Dave Robson]

...there was a young (-ish) man called spongey...!!!

Sponge :happy:

Lol ............ young-ish ! you still look 35 mate so chin up !:dance3:

[Annie]

...there was a young (-ish) man called spongey...!!!

Sponge :happy:

OMG! A legend in his own right!

:worthy::worthy::worthy::worthy::worthy:

[The Eagles]

...there was a young (-ish) man called spongey...!!!

Sponge :happy:
Who dangled upside down from a bungee...:joker:

[Chopfloat]

...there was a young (-ish) man called spongey...!!!

Sponge :happy:


Who dangled upside down from a bungee...:joker:

He clung on to his square pants...

[Crispione]

He clung on to his square pants...

Whilst singing off key in descants:whee:

[Spongebob!]

Whilst singing off key in descants:whee:

...and said 'he'd never had so much fun-gey!!!'

Sponge :rocker:

[Mr Wilko]

while he played the scot called Gavin Rum-gey :joker:

[Chopfloat]

I've just entered this in a Limerick competition,please let me know what you think.

There was a young(-ish) man called spongey,
Who dangled upside down from a bungee.
He clung on to his square pants,
While singing off-key in descants.
And said he'd never had so much fun-gey.

If the majority of you think it is any good,I'm claiming ownership.
If the majority think it should be an exhibit in a scatology exam,the four people who actually put it together will be publically named and shamed!
:joker::joker:

[Annie]

I've just entered this in a Limerick competition,please let me know what you think.

There was a young(-ish) man called spongey,
Who dangled upside down from a bungee.
He clung on to his square pants,
While singing off-key in descants.
And said he'd never had so much fun-gey.

If the majority of you think it is any good,I'm claiming ownership.
If the majority think it should be an exhibit in a scatology exam,the four people who actually put it together will be publically named and shamed!
:joker::joker:

Shame them! Shame them! Shocking abuse of the English Language! :order:




:whistling:

[The Burpster]

Just been for a knock wi' our Wiggy
By god he can hit a ball well
But after a couple of hours
I began to detect a new smell.

We was blocking and loopin' and fishin' like mad
I could not get shot past him,
Tried choppin and blockin and doin' me best
but all he would do was just blast 'em.

The smell was getting a bit pungent
I thought we were right in't mire
but alas it dawned on me right sudden
t' buggers new bat had caught fire!

So me advice to you fellow players
is if you give Wiggy a call
Prepare and get yersel' sorted
and make sure you take a wet ball.....!

:happy:

[Annie]

Just been for a knock wi' our Wiggy
By god he can hit a ball well
But after a couple of hours
I began to detect a new smell.

We was blocking and loopin' and fishin' like mad
I could not get shot past him,
Tried choppin and blockin and doin' me best
but all he would do was just blast 'em.

The smell was getting a bit pungent
I thought we were right in't mire
but alas it dawned on me right sudden
t' buggers new bat had caught fire!

So me advice to you fellow players
is if you give Wiggy a call
Prepare and get yersel' sorted
and make sure you take a wet ball.....!

:happy:

Are you sure it was his bat?

Great Ode! http://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/clap.gif

[Spongebob!]

I've just entered this in a Limerick competition,please let me know what you think.

There was a young(-ish) man called spongey,
Who dangled upside down from a bungee.
He clung on to his square pants,
While singing off-key in descants.
And said he'd never had so much fun-gey.

If the majority of you think it is any good,I'm claiming ownership.
If the majority think it should be an exhibit in a scatology exam,the four people who actually put it together will be publically named and shamed!
:joker::joker:

Quality Choppy - you're right it is very, very, very bad!! :happy:

Sponge:rocker:

[Annie]

Quality Choppy - you're right it is very, very, very bad!! :happy:

Sponge:rocker:

Sponge! You are a Legend. You even have Odes compodes for you! :worthy:

Gosh I'm so happy we have Sponge Bobby! :sheep:

[Spongebob!]

Sponge! You are a Legend. You even have Odes compodes for you! :worthy:

Gosh I'm so happy we have Sponge Bobby! :sheep:

Quality! - Spongey cha cha cha!!! :dance3:

[Chopfloat]

ANNIE'S DREAM.

I have a dream to be natural and free,
To have gentle waters caressing me.

To be far away from those prying eyes,
Just me, myself and the Heavenly skies.

To be under a waterfall in delightful bliss,
With the soothing spray feeling just like a kiss.

It will cleanse my soul with the water so mild,
To be all alone, but immersed in the wild.

To be like the birds that are flying so free,
This is my dream for you all to see.

[Annie]

ANNIE'S DREAM.

I have a dream to be natural and free,
To have gentle waters caressing me.

To be far away from those prying eyes,
Just me, myself and the Heavenly skies.

To be under a waterfall in delightful bliss,
With the soothing spray feeling just like a kiss.

It will cleanse my soul with the water so mild,
To be all alone, but immersed in the wild.

To be like the birds that are flying so free,
This is my dream for you all to see.

Chopey this is just brilliant! http://www.tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/clap.gif

If I can explain.............

2 weeks ago my local radio station Heart FM set a competition sponsored by British Airways to win a dream experience. They asked what experience would you most want to have that money can't buy? I've always loved water so I text in to 'stand naked under a waterfall' would be my ultimate experience.

Well they phoned and text for two days but I wouldn't pick up the phone. Eventually I gave in and had a chat with DJs Ed and Rachel. I doubt I will hear anything.

Anyway, when I read this Ode I e-mailed it to my colleagues, they promptly e-mailed it into the Radio Station.

Keep an eye on your inbox Chopey because I reckon you will be famous one day! :happy:

[Wiggy63]

Just been for a knock wi' our Wiggy
By god he can hit a ball well
But after a couple of hours
I began to detect a new smell.

We was blocking and loopin' and fishin' like mad
I could not get shot past him,
Tried choppin and blockin and doin' me best
but all he would do was just blast 'em.

The smell was getting a bit pungent
I thought we were right in't mire
but alas it dawned on me right sudden
t' buggers new bat had caught fire!

So me advice to you fellow players
is if you give Wiggy a call
Prepare and get yersel' sorted
and make sure you take a wet ball.....!

:happy:


Bob, yr the plod,
your not a miserable sod, ( far from it)
I've got an easy job,
I just want you to see, my methods, you will see,
Will been seen to be,
the best way forward for you and me,
so keep playing with your glee,
you deserve to be,
successful,
but don't be twee,
cos remember Ray, you and me,
we all hope to be, successful, in div three,
I look on and, really can see,
you both have improved,
thanks to me,
Its up to you now, I will see,
you a week on friday at 6.30. ( well phone me )

Wiggs.

[Dave Robson]

Your a poet Wiggs:rocker:

[Chopfloat]

Well done Andy.
Do you wish for me to send you a book of rhymes?
:joker:

[The Burpster]

Bob, yr the plod,
your not a miserable sod, ( far from it)
I've got an easy job,
I just want you to see, my methods, you will see,
Will been seen to be,
the best way forward for you and me,
so keep playing with your glee,
you deserve to be,
successful,
but don't be twee,
cos remember Ray, you and me,
we all hope to be, successful, in div three,
I look on and, really can see,
you both have improved,
thanks to me,
Its up to you now, I will see,
you a week on friday at 6.30. ( well phone me )

Wiggs.

Ahhh Wigster the poet extrordinaire,
A man amonst men is unquestioned
A player as graceful as Fred Astaire,
A joker as yet to be sectioned!

Indeed your coaching inpires us,
With all manner of tricks and improvements
My play is evolving like crazy
Tho' choppers still give me bowel movements!

Your mission continues unchecked
to turn rallies for me in my favour
To prevent me from missing good shots
and banish these choppers for ever!

Bob, your ever gracious student! :tomato:

[Mr Wilko]

Good luck in your comp Annie...... did Choppy tell you though that if you do win he will require photos of your experience to add to his poem :joker::joker:

[Wiggy63]

Tho' choppers still give me bowel movements!
:tomato:

Priceless, just priceless.
That is a poem in itself.

[Chopfloat]

SNOW FUN

The view outside looks so peaceful and clean,
As I gaze from my window at the wintery scene.

Now Christmas has gone and the New Year's growing old,
It is freezing out there and bitterly cold.

The roads are all blocked and there's nowhere to go,
And my hands are all blistered from shovelling snow.

All sporting events have gone for a burton,
It's a weekend of twiddling, of that I am certain.

There's nothing to do and no games I can play,
I'll be out of my head by the end of the day.

But relief it is coming, well that's what I hear,
That the thaw's moving closer, its drawing so near.

But the snow and the ice is still holding us fast,
And no-one can say how long it will last.

Cos nature's the force that decides on our fate,
We must harness its energy before its too late.

So when this is over and we're back in the fold,
Please remember with fondness our time in the cold.

For life's what we make it, or so they do say,
Our time is our own, so have a good day.

[Annie]

S s s s s so C c c c c cold!

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d29/hungarianwonderwoman/Emotions/froze.gif

[Chopfloat]

The stars that we chase, they shine oh so bright,
They cloud up our minds and steal from our sight.

We seem to forget just who we are,
As we try and catch that fleeting star.

Those vibrant rays they feed our delusions,
And fill our heads with their rainbow illusions.

We see ourslves as grand heavenly creatures,
But the mirror reflects our mean earthly features.

Its the brightest star that casts the palest gleam,
And in its wake leaves our shattered dreams.

If we get what we see, we lose what we are,
For a dream is just a dream and a star is just a star.

[Chopfloat]

The boost has gone, the game's now clean,
No more red-faces, they've changed to green.

All the kit is now legally branded,
It's all upfront, not underhanded.

No guile nor tricks will spoil the game,
Just honesty and fairness shall be the aim.

Our sport is now open and holds no fear,
The pledges are sworn and are sincere.

So all-in-all this is 'mot juste'
'The ball shall bounce, just not with boost!'

[The Eagles]

If the game is now clean, then that's a first!
I laughed so much, I almost burst...

I'm sure someone's on the next innovation
To aid their quest for world domination

For most who play, is it a time to think?
Or a time for friends to eat and drink?

For me, I'm never gonna be world beating
at times I think I'd be be better tweeting!

[Chopfloat]

Two weeks in the sun is to be my repentence,
On those Bermuda beaches I must serve my sentence.

I feel so sad to be leaving today,
To spend that time on Horseshoe Bay.

The Bermuda sun shall be my magic potion,
An island jewel in the Atlantic Ocean.

This time of hardship I shall try and endure,
And hope this jaunt will be my cure.

I'll walk those shores and dispel these blues,
And come back home with some sand in my shoes.

So I wish you all well as I pack my cases,
For this Geordie boy's off to the Bermuda Races

[Annie]

Have a great time Chopey and don't fergit me rrrrrock!

655

[Chopfloat]

I languished with joy in my cold dank domain,
With chemical allies to help soothe my pain.
The years just flew by without much reflection,
My colourful dreams my own misconception.
Then came the dawn of that cold, cold sweat,
And I awoke to discover that I was now a VET.

So I ditched all my demons and I took up the pledge,
To halt the slide at the inferno's edge.
Yes, I pick up my blade and began the redemption,
And started anew with much apprehension.
I trained and I trained to regain my vigour,
But all I attained was a new state of rigor.

Well I felt I had time to fulfill my mission,
But my aging limbs were just out of condition.
A championship spot was high on the agenda,
Though time has shown I'm no longer a contender.
So now I must consider my life in the game,
It's back to the future for fortune and fame.

Now old friends come round and they tempt me with vice,
And the piper has called, I must now pay his price.
So I sit in the bar and I dampen my sorrow,
And I'll devise a new plan to work on tomorrow.
I know I have potential, but no fourth dimension,
I must get to the bank and pick up my pension.

Yes the time it has gone and I've missed that dream boat,
Is it finally the end for dear old Chopfloat?

[Trottski]

Melancholic!

[Annie]

Choppey...............:cry1:

[Chopfloat]

Melancholic!As opposed to alcoholic?

[Chopfloat]

Melancholic! Funnily enough, Andy, I started the ode as a redemption poem and was going to finish it upbeat and uplifting! But after the football, my will to live just seemed to fade! I'll try and do a jolly one soon.

[Annie]

ANNIE'S DREAM.

I have a dream to be natural and free,
To have gentle waters caressing me.

To be far away from those prying eyes,
Just me, myself and the Heavenly skies.

To be under a waterfall in delightful bliss,
With the soothing spray feeling just like a kiss.

It will cleanse my soul with the water so mild,
To be all alone, but immersed in the wild.

To be like the birds that are flying so free,
This is my dream for you all to see.

I have to say, this one's still my favourite! :shy:

[Chopfloat]

After being accused of being a sad sack by my dear friend Trottwood, here's a couple of odes from my sojourn in Bermuda. This one I prepared for my brother as he gave his daughter away.

You are my darling daughter, the sparkle that's in my eye,
A flawless diamond to my mind, the jewel that lights my sky.

Your gentle nature fills my heart, you are my greatest pleasure,
With a smile so bright, it lights up my life, you are my finest treasure.

You are my darling daughter, now behold, you are fully grown,
A beautiful young lady, the best that I've ever known.

Now I offer this sincerely, the wish for you to aspire,
To live your life in harmony, to receive what you so desire.

You are my darling daughter, but now you are to be a wife,
You may have left my side, but not my heart, you'll always be in my life.

So I raise my glass to you and Josh, and I give to you my oath,
To kimberley and Josh, life is waiting on you both!

[Chopfloat]

This one was for a young lady, whom I met just after she was released from a week-end in jail!

She's carefree Clare, an urban child,
Her heart is true, but spirit is wild.
She sweeps you up with her tidal cascades,
Then leaves you breathless with her escapades.

She's cozy crazy that's carefree Clare,
Graceful with passion, so sweet and debonair.
She fills your life with her radiance,
And her forceful energy is your subsistence.

She's carefree Clare, she's a full on genie,
Full of laughter, with her freedomtini,
She's a force of nature, just like a hurricane,
With a flood of love that you can't contain.

She's cozy crazy, she checks out the sun,
Her's smile so bright, she's a bundle of fun.
A vortex of affection, she takes things too far,
She's carefree Clare, the amazing Bermudian star.

[Annie]

O yes, flirting with the natives eh?

:charlston: