Funny Story

[The Windmill]

This happened to me last night.
Have you ever turned up to an away match to find that the opposition are not there ? Myself and 2 team mates, all travelled independantly to a venue in Sunderland (15 miles from home) only to be met with darkness and locked doors. We then wait 10 minutes hoping they will turn up. still no one arrives. We find the dog eared handbook in the bottom of one of our bags and proceed to call the offending club secretary. Imagine how we laughed when the number came up not recognised when we rang it. Yes the incorrect number was printed in the hand book. So not to be beaten (pun intended) we ring around a vast array of contacts to try and get in touch with someone from the offending home team. NOTHING !!!!. we wait 30 mins and decide to go home (total waste of a night). Only we call in at our home club for a knock on the way (not a total waste then)........Now imagine how we all nearly died laughing when our club secretary, whom we contacted regarding the non appearance of the opposition rings the NEXT day to say he has checked his answering machine and lo and behold the offending club secretary has actually rang to say they will not be able to field a team for said match and they were calling it off ......Its just so funny I am still laughing now.......Ha Ha Ha.....there may be a murder and I cannot be held responsible......NO....I am laughing that much I probably cannot kill him..... :taz:

[FantasyCheeseBasin]

typical belafonte buffoonery at its best,thou shalt be lashed at the yard arm baldric:thtease:

[Spongebob!]

This happened to me last night.
Have you ever turned up to an away match to find that the opposition are not there ? Myself and 2 team mates, all travelled independantly to a venue in Sunderland (15 miles from home) only to be met with darkness and locked doors. We then wait 10 minutes hoping they will turn up. still no one arrives. We find the dog eared handbook in the bottom of one of our bags and proceed to call the offending club secretary. Imagine how we laughed when the number came up not recognised when we rang it. Yes the incorrect number was printed in the hand book. So not to be beaten (pun intended) we ring around a vast array of contacts to try and get in touch with someone from the offending home team. NOTHING !!!!. we wait 30 mins and decide to go home (total waste of a night). Only we call in at our home club for a knock on the way (not a total waste then)........Now imagine how we all nearly died laughing when our club secretary, whom we contacted regarding the non appearance of the opposition rings the NEXT day to say he has checked his answering machine and lo and behold the offending club secretary has actually rang to say they will not be able to field a team for said match and they were calling it off ......Its just so funny I am still laughing now.......Ha Ha Ha.....there may be a murder and I cannot be held responsible......NO....I am laughing that much I probably cannot kill him..... :taz:

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubish...!!! Look on the bright side at least you won your 3 sets and the doubles!!!

If you would like me to have a word with your dozy club sectretary and give him a friendly slap it can be arranged...! :rocker:

Spongemonster!

[The Windmill]

Update from dozy club secretary.....In a private message to me he says "how is he expected to get a message recieved late at night when his mam will not let him stay up past 7pm".....and another thing.....He wasn't playing so who cares !!!! :fcb:

[DaveR]

Hey ive turned up thinking the same story and yes you guessed it...................we were supposed to be at home !

The other team were at our home venue waiting for us and yes claimed the game .........................secretary's ive **** them !

[The Windmill]

Not as bad as Mark "squeaky" Jackson. He was living in our area for a while and played for us. Thinking he had put the away venue post code into his Sat Nav, actually turned up at the away team secretarys house to play a match !!!!....What a plonker

[TheMoose]

Takes some beating but yes ive met Mark and yes he can be quite "dim" nice guy though.

[HarryBelafonte]

:fcb:ah forgot you owe me three pound for hire of table at birtley leisure centre, my new proffesional attitude to being efficient.. that will be £6 to practice tonight.. thank you..
I have contacted all a team players leaving various messages on modern day communication comestibles...to bring extra cash:pray:
If you do not have the money,(which you normally dont and gary never has,) :rol:dont worry I have instructed kelly to throw you into the skip in the car park, and have left message with ken bowman to let you practice at seaburn,(on friday tho)
please stop whining like a hound it got you out of the painting and your average has gone up to 23,5 percent
:rocker:

[Spongebob!]

:fcb:ah forgot you owe me three pound for hire of table at birtley leisure centre, my new proffesional attitude to being efficient.. that will be £6 to practice tonight.. thank you..
I have contacted all a team players leaving various messages on modern day communication comestibles...to bring extra cash:pray:
If you do not have the money,(which you normally dont and gary never has,) :rol:dont worry I have instructed kelly to throw you into the skip in the car park, and have left message with ken bowman to let you practice at seaburn,(on friday tho)
please stop whining like a hound it got you out of the painting and your average has gone up to 23,5 percent
:rocker:


Quality Goddy :taz:

[The Windmill]

:fcb:ah forgot you owe me three pound for hire of table at birtley leisure centre, my new proffesional attitude to being efficient.. that will be £6 to practice tonight.. thank you..
I have contacted all a team players leaving various messages on modern day communication comestibles...to bring extra cash:pray:
If you do not have the money,(which you normally dont and gary never has,) :rol:dont worry I have instructed kelly to throw you into the skip in the car park, and have left message with ken bowman to let you practice at seaburn,(on friday tho)
please stop whining like a hound it got you out of the painting and your average has gone up to 23,5 percent
:rocker:

What can I say....£6 pound to practice with Belafonte...you must be having a laugh. You should be paying me...I taught you every thing you know. How to whinge about your bad knees, How to complain about being the luckiest man in the world, how to serve like a girl, how to go to the toilet as you enter the pub (your round Windmill), How to tell your team mates a match has been cancelled...sorry you obviously were not listening when I taught you that one !!!! :resent: As for my average....I dream of 23.5%

[FantasyCheeseBasin]

i dream of a % full stop:thtease:

[FantasyCheeseBasin]

What can I say....£6 pound to practice with Belafonte...you must be having a laugh. You should be paying me...I taught you every thing you know. How to whinge about your bad knees, How to complain about being the luckiest man in the world, how to serve like a girl, how to go to the toilet as you enter the pub (your round Windmill), How to tell your team mates a match has been cancelled...sorry you obviously were not listening when I taught you that one !!!! :resent: As for my average....I dream of 23.5%


by harrybelafonte at my house on my computer for which i have levied a small fee, "quote harrybelafonte" the £3.00 was for monday evening practising with the giant sloth and the crazy poser.
as for practising with me i would not lower myself to practise with such a pedantic forehand misser wibbler unless you are the only player there.

as for getting the round in i let you off with your round as i soundly thrashed you for a pint in the fifth end:thumbsup: see you next week and you can get me a pint then,carry on with your painting...:Mood:

[Mr Wilko]

this page is absolute quality!!!!

i am pleased i signed for a professional team with a secretary /manager who texts 10 times just so you know you are playing and as for paying £3 for hire of table no chance at our club !!!!!!!!
do you really think eddy would play for us if he had to pay infact i think he must of tought belafonte the trick about going to tiolet when entering pub or even hold the door open for others so he is last at bar


http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gifhttp://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif

[HarryBelafonte]

still waiting for my first pint of you..mr willo...prob get it when your a vet......:taz::thumbsup:

[Mr Wilko]

still waiting for my first pint of you..mr willo...prob get it when your a vet......:taz::thumbsup:

when you learn to spell my name correctly then i will "buy" you a pint!!!

oo matron !!!!

then again if it was not for me you would of been sober at county weekend and possibly won a game or 2


http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif :victory:

[Spongebob!]

...then again if it was not for me you would of been sober at county weekend and possibly won a game or 2


http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/nono.gif :victory:

Quality again ....Wilko...:woho:

[HarryBelafonte]

a BIT LIKE YOU ON THE FIRST WEEKEND MR WILKI:rocker:

[Mr Wilko]

a BIT LIKE YOU ON THE FIRST WEEKEND MR WILKI:rocker:


i won the same amount of games as you did on first weekend belafonte???



http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/happy.gif

[HarryBelafonte]

thank you,case dissmissed...:thtease:

[Mr Wilko]

thank you,case dissmissed...:thtease:


but i played terrible though !!!!!!!



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[DaveR]

this page is absolute quality!!!!

i am pleased i signed for a professional team with a secretary /manager who texts 10 times just so you know you are playing and as for paying £3 for hire of table no chance at our club !!!!!!!!
do you really think eddy would play for us if he had to pay infact i think he must of tought belafonte the trick about going to tiolet when entering pub or even hold the door open for others so he is last at bar


http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gifhttp://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif http://tabletennistalk.co.uk/forum/images/icons/woho.gif

Mr Eddie Smith of Northumberland Table Tennis needs a little course on the how you buy a drink with your own money !